如何緩解分手后的疼痛

分手總是讓人難受

Every breakup sucks,

只是難受程度有所不同

while some are worse than others,

不管怎樣 分手多少都會(huì)影響到我們

they all affect us in one form or another.

不論是和平分手還是憤怒分手

Whether it was an amicable or fury-induced split,

我們將為大家提供一些忘記前任的靠譜方法

we’ll provide you with solid tips on how to get over your ex.

1.（至少短期內(nèi)）切斷與對(duì)方的聯(lián)系

1. Cut off contact (at least for a while).

不論你是甩人還是被人甩

Whether you’re the dumper or the dumpee,

關(guān)系結(jié)束后依舊密切關(guān)注前任

it’s not healthy to keep tabs on your ex

是不健康的行為

once the relationship is over.

你也許想要成熟些 想要和前任繼續(xù)當(dāng)朋友

You might want to be mature and remain on friendly terms with your ex,

但這樣你就不夠時(shí)間從分手中恢復(fù)過(guò)來(lái)

but you won’t give yourself enough time to heal from the breakup.

你要告訴前任 你需要點(diǎn)時(shí)間靜靜

Tell your ex that you’ll need space for a while.

你也該考慮把他們從社交媒體訊息中移除

You should also consider trimming them from your social media feeds

對(duì)他們?nèi)∠P(guān)注或進(jìn)行屏蔽

by unfollowing or muting their activity

以避免發(fā)生妒忌 念舊

to prevent potential instances of jealousy, nostalgia,

或者被動(dòng)攻擊的行為

or targeted passive aggression.

2.開始一個(gè)新的愛好

2. Take up a new hobby.

恢復(fù)單身不一定是壞事

Being newly single doesn’t have to be a bad thing.

戀愛時(shí)

When you’re in a relationship,

屬于自己的時(shí)間變少了

you have less time for yourself

因?yàn)槟惆汛蟛糠謺r(shí)間花在了伴侶身上

since much of it is devoted to your partner.

另一方面 當(dāng)你單身的時(shí)候

On the other hand, when you’re single

你可以更加深入地了解自己

you can get to know yourself more intimately.

你可以自由探索自己的興趣

You’re free to discover your interests and

把時(shí)間分配給你喜歡的東西

dedicate your time to whatever you want.

你有沒(méi)有一個(gè)你很想?yún)⒓拥恼n程

Is there a particular class or hobby that

或者一個(gè)你很想嘗試的愛好？

you’ve always wanted to participate in?

可能是動(dòng)畫制作 繪畫 拼圖游戲

Perhaps it’s animation, painting, puzzles,

園藝 體育

gardening, sports,

參加讀書俱樂(lè)部 甚至上劇院

a book club or even the theater.

有數(shù)不盡的愛好可選擇

The possibilities are endless.

學(xué)習(xí)一項(xiàng)新技能 設(shè)定一個(gè)新目標(biāo)

Learning a new skill and acquiring a new purpose

將會(huì)讓你變得更自信 更獨(dú)立

will boost your self-esteem and independence.

3. 縱容自己

3. Pamper yourself.

盡情去吃零食 看老套電影吧

Indulge yourself in junk food and sappy movies

因?yàn)槟愕那叭卧僖膊粫?huì)請(qǐng)你了

since your ex won’t be there to treat you anymore.

給自己放個(gè)假 和朋友去其他地方

Take a vacation, take a week or a weekend

放松一個(gè)周末 甚至一周

to relax somewhere with your friends.

泡個(gè)溫泉 讓自己忘掉

Take a spa day and rid yourself of the daily stresses

分手和日常生活所帶來(lái)的壓力

that pile on top of your relationship loss.

4. 對(duì)自己誠(chéng)實(shí)

4. Be real with yourself.

利用自己獨(dú)處的時(shí)間 反省你們?cè)诜质智暗年P(guān)系

Use your time alone to reflect on your relationship before the breakup.

雖然你對(duì)前任以及你們共度的時(shí)間

Though you may have positive memories of your partner

還懷有美好的回憶

and that time you spent together,

但是你要記住 你們之所以分手

it is important to remember that there were problems that

一定是出現(xiàn)了什么問(wèn)題

inevitably drove you two apart.

也許你會(huì)想修復(fù)這段關(guān)系

While you might want to fix things,

但是你要接受你們倆可能根本不相配

accept that the two of you might simply be incompatible

而從長(zhǎng)遠(yuǎn)來(lái)看 分手才是最好的辦法

and that breaking up was the best course of action in the long run.

5. 向親友發(fā)泄

5. Vent to your loved ones.

你要有個(gè)有效的支持體系

It is important to have a decent support system

幫助你度過(guò)分手期

to help you through a breakup.

當(dāng)你感到生氣或受傷的時(shí)候

When you’re feeling angry or hurt,

你的朋友可以同情你 提醒你不是一個(gè)人

your friends can justify your feelings and remind you that you’re not alone.

他們或許還能與你分享親身經(jīng)歷 啟發(fā)你

They might even share some of their own illuminating experiences.

此外 研究表明 僅僅用言語(yǔ)表達(dá)情緒

Additionally, research shows that merely verbalizing your feelings

也能讓負(fù)面情緒緩解下來(lái)

can make negative emotions less intense.

6. 聽悲傷的音樂(lè)

6. Listen to sad music.

分手期間 你的大腦會(huì)被感傷的音樂(lè)所吸引

During a breakup, your brain is actually attracted to sad music.

一位素未謀面的藝術(shù)家都能用文字和音樂(lè)

When an artist you’ve never met can articulate your exact thoughts

表達(dá)出你的想法和情感

and feelings through words and sounds,

這足以證明你不是一個(gè)人

it’s proof that you’re not alone.

你也是人 所經(jīng)歷的是人類共同擁有的經(jīng)歷

You’re a human, sharing in a human experience.

此外 一項(xiàng)近期研究發(fā)現(xiàn)

Moreover, a recent study has found that

傷感的歌曲可以讓聽者平靜下來(lái)

sad songs can actually elicit peacefulness in the listener.

傷感的歌曲也會(huì)讓我們哭

t can also make us cry,

這是一種精神的宣泄 可以改善心情

which can be cathartic and mood-boosting.

所以 盡管去反復(fù)聽聽分手歌單上的歌吧

So go ahead and listen to that breakup playlist on repeat.

7. 接受過(guò)去

7. Accept the past.

如果你們不是和平分手

If your breakup was less than amicable,

你對(duì)前任或許會(huì)懷有一些悔恨和敵意

you might be harboring some regret and hostility towards your ex.

你要給自己一點(diǎn)時(shí)間去哀悼

Allow yourself the time necessary to grieve,

但是不要讓自己被情緒吞噬掉

but be careful not to let it consume your identity.

怨恨不僅會(huì)助長(zhǎng)抑郁和焦慮的情緒

Emotional grudges not only contribute to feelings of depression and anxiety

還會(huì)對(duì)你以后的戀情造成負(fù)面影響

but they will negatively impact your future relationships.

你要原諒前任 原諒自己 繼續(xù)前進(jìn)

Forgive your ex, forgive yourself and move on.

8. 就算依舊愛著前任也沒(méi)關(guān)系

8. It’s okay to still love your ex.

分手最糟糕的部分 就是前任明明傷害了你

The worst part of a breakup is the dissonance from hurting over your ex’s actions,

你卻因?yàn)閷?duì)方離去而感傷

yet hurting that they’re gone.

分手并不意味著你們之間的愛完全逝去

Breaking up doesn’t mean that the love between you is completely dead.

不論是在一起了幾年還是幾個(gè)月

Whether it’s been a few years or a few months,

你們倆曾一起制造過(guò)回憶

the two of you made memories together

并且曾在彼此生活中扮演過(guò)重要角色

and played significant roles in each other’s lives.

不幸的是 僅僅有愛是不夠的

Unfortunately, love just isn’t enough

很多不同的因素才能促成一段關(guān)系

and there are many things that factor into making a relationship work.

你要明白 愛有時(shí)要希望對(duì)方得到最好的

Understand that love sometimes means wanting the best for each other,

而有時(shí)候 這就意味著必須分手

and sometimes that means breaking up.

9. 接受下一段感情

9. Feel good about the rebound.

2014年的一項(xiàng)研究發(fā)現(xiàn) 分手后開始另一段關(guān)系的人

A 2014 study found that people who rebounded with a new partner after a breakup

比分手后長(zhǎng)期保持單身的人

reported a better sense of well-being than those

覺得更幸福

who stayed single for long periods of time afterwards.

但是參與研究的人是在第一次分手后

However, the rebounds in this study happened approximately

等了約7個(gè)月才開始下一段關(guān)系的

seven months after their first breakup.

因此 雖然在向前走之前要治愈好心傷

Therefore, while it’s important for you to heal before moving on

但你也要保持開放心態(tài)

stay open to new possibilities,

不要因?yàn)榉挪幌虑叭尉途芙^新的戀愛機(jī)會(huì)

don’t turn away a new chance at love because you’re hung up on your ex.

分手總是很難 但并非不可度過(guò)

Breakups are always hard but they aren’t impossible to get through.

你可以的！

You can do it!

你有哪些其他方法可以分享？

Do you have any tips to share that aren’t on this list?

請(qǐng)?jiān)谙路皆u(píng)論區(qū)分享

Feel free to share them by writing in the comments section down below.